By loading this webpage you have agreed to be bound by the terms and conditions set forth herein:
  1. You consent to intermittent beatings, administered by myself or my designees.
  2. You agree that I get to use you, your spouse, your children, your parents or your pets. For any purpose.
  3. You will never again drink mojitos. That's pronounced moheetos dumbass!

Should a court find that any provision of these terms of use is unenforceable, incomprehensible, illegal, unconstitutional, in violation of the Geneva Convention, against the edicts of the Council of Nicea, contrary to U.N resolutions, or against the will of God, said provision shall still be in effect and the Court will be flogged. Repeatedly. With a hose.

Congrats. All your base are belong to me!